Merry Christmas

It's Christmas and I see I've gone almost 2 months without writing. This is sad because I know exactly why I didn't write was because I was too busy to think. I was too busy even to think about my own thoughts. I wake up in the morning and go and then I fall asleep at night literally before my head hits the pillow. It was sometime in these last two months that I decided I don't want my life to be like that anymore. Sometimes it's good not too think too much but not this much because stuff piles up and makes me a petty person. It's true about scratching the cognitive itch- that if you don't, eventually your thoughts turn to fungus. Blech.
Recently, I've looked back at this year and seen God's greatness. There are so many ways that He provided for me and the ones I love. He gave me a new job that I love. He allowed me to find out I was sick so that I could start getting better. My brother got married to my friend. He found a job, she passed school. I have a relationship in my life on its way to restoration. I've been blessed with new wonderful friends this year. He pulled me through financially several times and then blessed me further. He spared my friend from having cancer all throughout her body and kept it just in one place. He's given me opportunity to talk to others that don't know Him about Him. He's helped me grow and He's renewed my strength countless times. All of these things probably sound routine to anyone who's not me, but I assure you that they were things weighing heavily on my heart. God has been my provider this year beyond what I could convey in words.
I also recently had a new take on friendship. I am so guilty of wanting everything to be done my way and if it's not done my way, then it's wrong. I am guilty of that in friendship. But other people are just different. I get upset in friendship when people don't give me what I want (talk about selfish) because I feel like I'm not asking for much. But rather than expecting what I want, I think I should expect just what people have to give. Not everyone will be able to give the same but if they give what they have, then that is a part of them, and for that I am grateful. This will be much harder to put in to practice than to just talk about in theory because I am very used to protecting my feelings. And being gracious and open with yourself opens one up to the risk of being hurt. But so be it. I would rather be meek. I looked up the word 'meek' and one of the definitions is, "easily imposed on." I think that this is a quality I'd like to work on in the new year- along with gentleness. Meekness and gentleness go hand in hand. I wonder if it's possible for an opinionated person to be meek. I guess we'll find out.