Reserved

Oh Lord, I come to you now both full and empty. I know only you can understand that. I am, in my human heart, finished. I'm amazed at the depth of emotion you've allowed me to feel. The depths at which you've allowed me to hurt, and in turn, the depths at which you've allowed me to feel love and joy. You have taken me in your hand and molded me, just like I asked. I knew I was asking for something you wanted for me, and I knew you would teach me. I feel that you've taught me. I feel like it's over. I know it's never truly over but I feel like the thing I asked from you, you gave to me. Lord you know me in and out. You hemmed me in behind and before. You know what beauty is. You are beauty itself. Father you love me. I am sure of this with all of my heart and because of that my heart is full. You see me and you watch what I do. You see my heart and have made it your own. You chose me out of billions to be one of your children, to make me a part of the bride of your Son. Jesus, you came here and sacrificed everything to save me. I will never know a more heroic man. I will never know a greater love than you. I am waiting for you with your light in my eyes. I love your people, Jesus. I love them with the love you gave me. I love to see them loving you and working together because they love you. I want to serve them and I want to tell the ones who don't know. I want to gather them all together so we can love you together. There are more out there who haven't come in with us yet and I want to find them and tell them how much you've loved them. I want to live just as you died, willing to pay the price for you. I am finished with living to please anyone in this world. I want you to make my heart more and more beautiful. No matter what I look like on the outside Lord I want you to see me and see your beauty reflecting back at you. I want you to give me a humble heart. I want to serve you. I want to give up everything for you. I want my love for you to be a sacrifice, and I can see it coming to that. I think that is why I feel this time is momentous Lord. Oh God you know exactly what is most precious to me, and you have taught me using it. I will be yours. I only pray that you will give me the strength because I cannot do it on my own. The thought of doing it on my own is hopeless. But the thought of doing it with you is like a dream. I know you are wise and that you are practical and organized. But Lord I thank you for showing me your love. It moves me to tears. You have the power to move me unlike anyone else. How could anyone else come close to you? I see that now. You made me and you know me. You know me how I long to be known. You are already everything I ever wished I had. You anticipate my needs before I even know them myself. You protect me with all the strength there is. You know the depths of love and feeling beyond anything I could ever imagine. I'm waiting for you Jesus. I'm waiting for you to come back for me. I want to see your face and know it. I want to love you with everything in me. With all that I have and all that I am. I want to go with you to places I have never been before, on journeys I could never go myself and would never want to. I want to be surprised by you and I want to trust you so much I can see nothing but the next step, and never wonder what will happen, just go. I want to be your beauty, even if it seems ugly to others, I only care about what you see because you are my love. This is my love song to you, Jesus. It's not perfect but you know the depths and sincerity with which I feel it.
If you have chosen to keep me for yourself here on this earth, I will count it an honor to be among those chosen to love only you.
As you laid down your life, I offer this sacrifice, that I will live just as you died, willing to pay the price.
How beautiful, the radiant bride who waits for her groom with his light in her eyes.
I'm waiting for you Jesus, my God, my creator, my hero, my groom, my love. My heart of hearts is yours.