Keeping A Princess Heart In A Not So Fairytale World

Good luck, this is my longest blog post ever. Special kudos to those who read the whole thing. And if you see me about it, I'll give you an actual Kudos. ;)

So I just finished this book with the above title. I wonder about books that tell people about themselves. I still read them every now and again though, when they're recommended by people I trust. This one was recommended by a woman I hardly know whom I heard speak at a conference. But I trust her. Anyway it's based on a now familiar format, "Every woman's deepest desires are the three following things...." Of course these deepest desires are different from book to book and now I can simply weed these books out by finding out what they say the desires are before I read it. For instance, Captivating says a woman's three deepest desires are 1. To be rescued, 2. To be the beauty of a story, and 3. To share in an adventure. While I may sort of desire some of these things some of the time maybe, they're certainly not my deepest desires, so that book is discarded (but not before I started to read it and got about to the point where she slammed the Proverbs 31 woman then I closed it for good). The three deepest desires (what I now lovingly call) the Princess book says are 1. To be known, 2. To be loved, 3. To know that all will be well. Now that I can connect with. So I read the book. The first half of the book completely outlined the problem (and I mean completely) and it wasn't until I got to the second half of the book that I couldn't put it down. Nicole (author) informed that I am a princess (in the aptly-titled chapter, "You Are A Princess"). Now normally this is not something I would want as far as the common definition goes in this day and age. But she is not talking about the spoiled image of a princess that we have come to know. Like she says, "if the world is not putting the idea of princess out of reach, then it seems to be bringing it low and tarnishing it beyond repair." Then she goes on to say the following which is right on:
"Many of our deepest symbols and values are struggling to survive in this cultural tug of war. It is a sad fact of our world that what we can't attain, we level. We pull noble things to the ground so they won't intimidate us. And once we have them on the ground, we trample them or reduce them to a bumpersticker or burn them on television or just casually walk back and forth over them until the higher meaning is gone and the symbol lies deflated and battered in the dirt. Then we wonder why there is so little meaning in anything.
When symbols are separated from their deeper meaning, either by being placed out of reach or cheapened to irrelevance, then only the image of the thing is left. We are living in a culture where image is everything. Because of this, the idea of having a princess heart is far less attractive than putting on a princess face."
That is just to show that the princess she is talking about is not the princess as it has been determined by our image-hungry world. She is talking about a true princess heart - "With beauty and poise and strength, she bestows honor and grace. She is confident and radiant and courageous."
Now that's more like the woman I am striving to be. She calls us princesses because, in fact, we are daughters of the King. I am sooooooo not into froofs and ruffles and bows and lace and stuff. But did I dream of being Cinderella when I was a little girl? Yup. Did I wish someone would tell me my hair was dark and my skin was light like Snow White? Yup. Did I secretly pretend I was Sleeping Beauty waltzing with the prince in the forest? Yup. Did I try to walk through my mirror like Alice? oh yeah... leading to many headaches. But you know what else I did? Well I fought the Jabberwocky. I told that mean stepmother a thing or two. I slapped the ugly step-sisters silly. And I NEVER took the poisoned apple. So where are those secret wishes now? Well they are more grown up. I think the older I get and the longer I have to wait the more I will enjoy and appreciate my own love story when it eventually happens. Will it be perfect like the fairytales? Nope. Will it end happily ever after? Well eventually. Will it be a gift from God? Most certainly. George MacDonald said we are princesses dressing down. I like that.
I do long to be known (hence the blog with the personal posts) and to be loved of course and absolutely I need to know that everything will turn out all right in the end. The best chapter of the book was called, "Someday My Prince Will Come." Normally I would balk at this title but I was already drawn in so I continued reading a mile a minute. This chapter had all sorts of very true insights about a woman's innate desire to respond to love rather than initiate. That initiation happens out of impatience and how a woman desires to be found and recognized for who she is. That is why when a woman has to ask her love to find her (this is her initiating) it takes all the thrill out of being found. It should not be something she should have had to have sought, pursued, or manipulated. Then she talks about Cinderella. All the hardships that the girl went through: losing her mother, then losing her father, then being forced to be a slave in her own house to her step-mother and sisters. She lived in the ashes and then one day a beautiful gift was given to her. She was swept up and taken to the ball where she met the Prince and instantly fell in love and she had the most beautiful night of her life and then it was over. She had nothing left but for whatever reason, the glass slipper. When the Prince is looking for her, and there is all the hustle and bustle going on in the house, and the sisters are trying to make their feet fit in the glass slipper, and then finally, it breaks, Cinderella is never shown as worrying. Why? Because she knows she has the other glass slipper in her pocket. It was always there to remind her. I'm going to type a lot of this last chapter here now because I want every woman to read it.

"He was at a friend's house when she came in. She was a mess. She'd been crying and couldn't hold it all together. She had to walk by people in the house to find him. She could hear their whispers, "What's she doing here?" The other women were more than curious- "Who is SHE looking for?"- each afraid it might be her husband. But she just kept on until she saw him.
Then she couldn't keep from sobbing. She couldn't speak, but there was no need for words. It was obvious what she was saying. Everyone in the room knew the woman kissing his feet was for sale. Perhpas some of the men had bought before and felt nervous with her there. They wanted him to stop her from carrying on. One man standing near the scene was thinking, If this man were a prince, he would be able to recognize a princess, and she ain't it.
But the invisible kingdom reveals a different version.
She walked in the door, and all of heaven fell silent. The dancing ceased. The violins stopped playing. All eyes rested on teh rare beauty of this unknown woman. She had been found.
The whispers started immediately. "He sees her."
As she approached him, he alone could see into her heart. He alone knew what God had named her. He alone could feel the pain of where she had been. And despite her tears, he alone could see the beauty she would become. He knew she was a princess because she was a daughter of the King. The prince recognized her, took her by the hand, led her out on the floor, and danced with her in front of everyone. Mouths fell open. The crowd couldn't fathom the kind of love that would cuase the Prince of all heaven to dance with a prostitute princess.
This is the kind of love that finds and rescues.
The Prince of heaven is the truest prince who ever lived - the Son of God. Sent to invite us to enter the invisible kingdom. Sent to change our lives forever by his great love. His desire is not that one person should die without knowing his love. He knows what our hearts long for. And he smiles as he sees what happens to our hearts when we are loved.
We don't have to wait any longer to be found. We can stop hoping that someone else will come and rescue us. He has already found us and rescued us, and our hearts are set free to skip and dance and respond to his love. It's what we were made for. Love has redeemed our name.
...When we have a problem trusting, we don't need to brush up on the rules of how to trust; we need to get better acquainted with the one we are trying to put our trust in. When a woman sees a doctor about a heart condition, she listens to what the doctor says about how to lower her cholesterol. If she believes him, she trusts him. She will not say, 'No butter? You won't let me have any butter? Listening to you is just about following rules.' What the doctor says means something to her, and what the doctor is telling her to do is what is best for her heart. She trusts that the doctor's intentions are good toward her and that his goal is to take care of her.
God loves us more than any doctor. We can take him at his word. We don't look to a flower to determine whether 'he loves me, he loves me not.' There is no running debate. We can hold our heads high as duaghters of the King, loved by the greatest Prince of all time. Netiher honor has come to us as a result of our doing. Each is bestowed on us as a free gift from the inivsible kingdom.
The princess heart can rest in her belovedness. Adn when she doubts, she looks at the glass slipper on her dresser. She has it. It's still there. Yes, he loves her. She doesn't have to prove it or show it off or wear it. She need only trust in her name and in his love and keep walking. And when someone asks, 'Hey, Cinderella, does the shoe fit you now?' She can answer with confidence, 'Yes, by grace, it does indeed.'
A princess heart can rest in the truth that her Prince has come. He loves her and cherishes her. And she believes that one day, in the twinkling of an eye, the Prince is coming again. And when he comes again, it's for forever. And it's not for a dance this time --- it's for a wedding."

So I don't have much to add to that. She details it perfectly. What is the key to being a single woman of God? Being a single woman of God. I guess that statement would make no sense except to me. I prayed for it almost 2 years ago now and I am finally coming on some answers. The key is not in the singleness, but in God. We are loved more deeply than we will ever know. And no matter what heartbreak the world can bring, that is a comforting thought that, like she says, is "for forever."

So to all you women out there who are dressed down for the day, know who you are, who God has named you to be, His daughter, a real-live Princess. :)

I John 4:19
We love him because he first loved us.
nkjv